After our class discussion on Beyoncé, I have been thinking a lot about the question “For what are you responsible?”. I do not believe that anyone is responsible for furthering the feminist (or any other) cause beyond simply not hurting it. While I would hope that everyone would want to actively pursue equality, I don’t think that any one person is required to do so. This point is eloquently addressed from a different angle by an essay entitled “Please Don’t Thank Me for Loving My Wife.” In it, the author discusses how much it bothers her that people treat her relationship with her trans wife as if it were a “charity project,” since she is not married to her wife to promote trans* rights but because she loves her. The author is not responsible for working for trans* rights and the assumption that responsibility is what motivates her love seems to underlie her discomfort when people express their gratitude. While she does works to promote trans* rights, she does so out of love for her wife, not the other way around.
Reid, Genevra. “Please Don’t Thank Me for Loving My Wife.” Accessed Sept. 14, 2013. http://www.autostraddle.com/please-dont-thank-me-for-loving-my-wife-192747/