When it comes to sex, safety and consent are two of the most basic (and most crucial) responsibilities. However, as Rachel Kramer Bussel points out, if one wants to have a fulfilling sex life, our responsibilities do not end there. In fact, she claims, “it’s our duty to ourselves and our partners to get more vocal about asking for what we want in bed, as well as sharing what we don’t” (Bussel 46). Doing so can lead us to more satisfaction, and allow us to avoid potential regret or shame. While some may think sex is something trivial to take so seriously, I think Kramer’s ideas on expanding beyond simple, legal consent to enthusiastic and informed decisions about sex are central to a fulfilling life. We are responsible for knowing what makes us happy and healthy and and what does not, and this very much includes our sexual experiences.
Rachel Kramer Bussel, “Beyond Yes or No: Consent as Sexual Process” (2008)